My birthday wish (111111)

11 November 2011 --> 111111, the day with all same digit and started with 1, such a sweet date to be remembered, and as well reminded myself that I grew older that day.

I came out from my mother's womb 22 years ago, coincide that the combination of my birth month and date summed up. Being away from my home made me realized that how important a family is, and seeing delivery of babies made me realize how bad I was for not being good enough to my mother during the days when I was with her. I have about 2 more years to graduate, and I will decide my housemanship based on consideration of distance from my family. 

When the day came (11/11/11), I suddenly recalled of myself 3 years back during my STPM time. 

9/9/2008, I had celebrated one of my friends' birthday together with other friends, I told him that subsequent year his birth date will look good with 090909, should pick up chance to made something different, or better to be said as unforgettable memories, for instance engagement. Of course he treated my words as a joke, because  it depends on whether he managed to find his own soulmate before that day came.

And since I foreseen that my birth date will be look great 3 years later, I began to dream of something different during that day. 

That day has come.........

Reflecting days before the date had come, 1 brain still end up as 1 brain, it never turn out to be 2 brains, similarly I will still end up with same consequence on that day. Apparently my enlightment has not come yet, still  wondering around. Maybe my time has not come yet, however I believe that one day it will. 

It will be rather be a waste with special memories on special date, but I can just wait for the light path to shine towards me, the 2nd brain......

And if I was given a birthday wish, then it will be the one, which I had made since 3 years ago.

Only Human

On the other shore of sadness,

It is said that there is a smile,

On the other shore of sadness,

It is said that there is a smile,

Finally we arrived.

But what are we waiting for?

The purpose is not to run away,

It's to chase after dreams

We should have gone out to travel

On that summer day so long ago

In a place worn down by sadness

something called a miracle, is waiting

Yet we are still searching

for the sunflower that grows at the end of spring

The warrior who awaits the morning light

before he can clasp it with red nails,

his tears glitter and fall

Even if we’ve grown used to loneliness

only relying on the light of the moon

We have to fly away with featherless wing

just go forward, just a little further

Even tomorrow, if you see it

Though there isn't a sigh either.

Like a ship going against the current flow.

Right now, go forward, move ahead.

Even if it cuts through the rain and clouds,

The wet roads shine,

Only the dark will teach,

A stronger and stronger light,

Be strong, go forward, move ahead.

Word of wisdom

Until you try

            You don’t know

                        What you can’t do     

                                                            Henry James

Sharing culture

Education is vital for future progression of human civilization as well as for development of modernization. Learning process involves input (via various reading materials) and output (concepts and ideas). Input and output of our knowledge are essential in learning. If we only receive information without sharing it with others, or at least applying it constantly, we’re not receiving a good education. Being stingy to others instead actually restrict your input and output volume. You don't believe? Just continue to read and you will understand the reason behind it.

Our brain is like a vast warehouse with billions of smaller stores inside. Each and every item we received are stored into the warehouse based on their categories. If we constantly put something in and take something out from the same store, eventually we’ll know where to find the location of the store. As simple as we get used of it, just like key idea of  Taoism philosophy, let everything comes into natural. 

Same goes to our brain, if we keep using the same information constantly, then when we need to retrieve that information, our brain knows where to find it.

However, if we receive something and stored in into its store and never touch it again. Then when the time comes for us to retrieve it, we won’t be able to find this “dark corner” storage item. This is equivalent to forgetting about it, and it'll be a shame to us.

Using my own experience in university life, I found out that everyone has his/her own study approach, of course it will be unfair to be judgemental towards others' study techniques. The only thing that I noticed is that people who opt to explain to others about certain topics (which I considered as initiation of sharing),  those people can retain their learning output much better, in context of duration. I believe they share the similar learning approach, i.e. learning by understanding.

Generally, learning approach can be classified into two broad categories: memorizing and understanding. Both have their pros and cons. However memorizing approach seem to be more "rampant" among Malaysian education system, beginning from pre-school until university level. On the other hand, Western countries apply mostly on understanding. In practice, both of them cannot be separated, they complement each other, just like YingYang philosophy, where both components (Ying and Yang) are closely together. So everything in the world is like a circle, a half of it is good and half of it is bad. So the start of one side is the end of the other one. Same goes with learning approach.

Similarly, I would to declare myself learner by understanding approach as major, my previous thought is that solely relying on understanding approach will be sufficient, but after sometimes (where I had few examinations encountered), I realised that both memorization and understand are essential to be a person with better knowledge (output), especially when I came in touch with YingYang philosophy in brief. However through sharing, the learner can be even better, because it shows that the person has the courage, confidence towards the words spoken from his/her mouth.

Therefore, don’t be shy or stingy to share your knowledge with others. Engage in info sharing or discussion. By sharing with one person, you’re contributing a small hand in human capital development, which will benefit the country and indirectly benefits you yourself. Besides, you don’t need to be afraid that he/she will be better than you, because if you’re the one who shares the info with him/her, that means you have one extra input-output cycle compare to him/her, so who is having the advantage here? 

Justify by yourself, is there any loss you suffered from sharing info with others? I would say NO, you earned the listener(s)' respect, had your confidence boosted, understood yourself that you were able to confer your idea(s) to the others. Learning output via understanding consume less memory space (my personal view), thus I often able to learn more info with less capacity.

My learning philosophy now will be "Sharing is caring, knowledge beyond boundaries, no restriction" , from now until my last breath.

I would like to thank my friend who wrote a note regarding importance of sharing in his Facebook profile which gave me such inspiration to write this article. Deep gratitude and credit were given via acknowledgement at the bottom of this article.

(Adapted and modified from Wee., H.S. (2011) , Importance of input and output of our knowledge , KLIUC , Diploma in Civil Engineering (Class 2007-2009) ,  Bachelor of Civil Engineering (Hons) (expecting graduation in 2012))

Surprise

13 March - 3 April 2011 : Revision weeks for my 1st Professional exam, the exam that will determine whether I can progress to year 3 or not.

This exam accesses my knowledge which mostly being integrated from few body systems in Phase 1 MD curriculum, and students were provided with 3 weeks to make use of such limited but precious time.

Of course I was among those involved. And hereby I will unfold about what happening during that 3 weeks, and the moments during 3 days of exam period , which ended up really surprising.

I had prepared myself schedule for that 3 weeks period , I chose to begin with 2nd yr topics, as those were more highly emphasized, and I chose easier blocks to harder one. The 1st week is kinda simply relaxing where the stress hormone levels were relatively low.

The 2nd week comes, and my revision progress was relatively slow as to compare with my proposed schedule, however I calmed myself down, telling myself that I can do it. The stress hormone levels begun to rise up slowly.

The 3rd week comes, where I had finished most of my yr 2 topics, now is time to track on yr 1 topics, this is the most stressful week, the stress hormone levels peak up, and I admitted myself begin to fear about my fate in coming exam, however I told myself, I will pass the exam, the only matter is how well can I perform. Sometimes students really need some sort of psychological relaxation, especially useful for me.

I remember, on 1st of April, as the Phase 1 coordinator briefed us about the exam components, as well as mentioning about the identities of mysterious external examiners (only students involved in viva will encounter them), i.e. pharmacologist from UKM and physiologist from our public oldest university. Most students do not pay much attention about that except those consistently excel students, which might crave about getting the "Distinction" title, or at least being called for viva. And their identities actually also caught my attention.

After the briefing was ended, I begin to aim for getting into distinction viva, sometimes I asked myself, my results may really improving as time goes, but comparative to those consistently excel students I may not be competent enough for that. I told myself that perhaps I may stand a chance, or just try my best for it. Thus I came out with my personal slogan. "For pass and viva, GO!", using both of my fists to meet each other and then let go, for self motivation. People might find me crazy by doing so, but I felt normal for that.

2nd April 2011, I had group discussion with some of my fellow colleagues whoever interested to discuss and brainstorm, we had outlined certain important topics based on hints obtained. And I had shared my knowledge for physiology and pharmacology with them, giving them my technique of learning those as well showing linkage between few body systems, hoping that they can learn to integrate their pre-existing knowledge, my confidence raised up as I realised that I can deliver my messages clearly to them (which I personally feel so). I gave myself thumb up, saying that I can strike for it (distinction viva) even though it might be typically little in chance.

And I told many of my friends about my will to be called for distinction viva, I guess they might find me mad or crazy. Ya, I find myself like that also.

4th of April 2011, the 1st day of exam begun with MEQs (Modified essay questions), I can answer most of questions, however poor time management causing me unable to complete them. I left the exam hall feeling that my huge dream hardly be realised, but I still work hard for coming papers, as I believe: things never come to the end.

The following papers, OSPEs (Objective structured practical examinations), MCQs (Multiple choice questions) and BAQs (best answer questions) for next 2 days giving me feeling that I hardly get called for viva, but I was confident that I will pass the exam.

That was 6th of April, the last day of exam, which ended around 1pm. I went back into my room after having my lunch, I was lying down into my bed, as I had used up all my energy, thus I was setting my alarm inside my handphone and taking a nap to rejuvenate myself. I had slept for around 2 hours,which around 4.30pm. I looked at my phone, having initial intention to switch it off, but I told myself, maybe I will receive call later (Haha, such fantasized of me, still dreaming of getting it), at that moment I was still so naive to think about that, but yet I left my phone active.

After taking bath to get myself fresh from awaken, I planned to go out, and the moment I locked my room door, I remember it is around 5.15pm, my phone RANG!!!

I was so shocked, and looking at the dialer's no., it was office type no. Am I dreaming? Is it my dream comes true?

I answered the call, and the caller asked: "Good evening, may I talk to Mr (My full name)?" Wow!! I was so surprised, it is really a path of light in front of me, and I answered yes, the next sentence was "Can you come to academic office 2moro on 8am?" Then I was sure that I was called for Distinction viva!!! (track down my usual academic performance, I don't think I went for Borderline viva)

After the call has ended, I was jumping in joy. Hooray! I really made it, Yay!!! I was speechless for a while, asking myself: Am I dreaming? But i checked my phone, and it is really a call from academic office. And I was sure that is true.

Be honest, my track record for my year 1 academic performance was not good as compared to year 2, and surprisingly I was called for D viva. But perhaps my hard work efforts for year 2 finally paid with it. I struggled myself to learn as much as possible during my year 2 studies. And most of the time my results hampered me.

But now I was given a chance, a golden opportunity, the most important is I got a chance to meet both the external examiners, particularly the physiologist from UM, Golden opportunity only knock once, I pledged to try my best to impress her.

7th of April,on 8am I went to the level 8 of faculty building, there I met another 7 shortlisted distinction viva candidates, and one borderline viva candidate. I was really pleasured to join those distinction viva candidates as they were those expected and I glad to join them.

However my interview only begun around 12.30pm in the afternoon, as I was the last shortlisted D viva candidate based on my matric no., I entered into the meeting room there, facing 5 lecturers, including the 2 external examiners and 3 internal examiners, whose I was familiar with, with condition of hypoglycemia and slight tiredness.

I begun to introduce myself by telling my dream to representing my faculty for a well prestigious competition particularly to the physiologist from UM, as the competition is related to her expertise, she responded that by right I was qualified based on my capability to get into distinction viva, and I responded that it depends on the "trainer"'s decision as he had chosen the next candidates. Anyway I told her that failing to be selected never drag me down, instead that was my source of motivation to come into this stage of viva voce.

When I reflect upon myself, I felt that my willingness to share my knowledge with others (include some of my coursemates and juniors) and the spurred spirit to learn physiology due to failure to be selected that contribute to my entry into D viva.

All in all, I was satisfied with my performance but after all I did not get the D, since I was failed to impress those 2 external examiners. Anyway I glad that I was called for D viva, as it was greatest memory before I completed my phase 1 MD curriculum. Next awaiting me was Phase 2, or better to be known as clinical years. I pledged that I will acquire as much clinical skills as possible, as well integrate my basic science knowledge into the clinical scenario.

Hereby I really need to thanks my seniors for giving me countless precious advices that lighten my learning processes throughout my year 2 life until facing my 1st Prof exam, of course to my batchmates whose willing to listen to my explanation during the revision weeks, u all had gave me more confidence to go further, similarly I glad to have some advices from my Phase 1 lecturers throughout my 2 years of medical studies, last but not least, my buddies (regardless of senior batch or junior batch) do gave me more confidence to pass the exam, so that not to disappoint them, the credit should never exclude my family which supports my will to study medicine. Of  course, my juniors were my source of inspiration to encourage me to acquire enough learning experiences and outcomes as to share with them in future. Their patience and willingness to listen to my knowledge sharing spur up my confidence to learn better.

Finally, I will continue my motto: "Sharing is caring, knowledge beyond boundaries, no restriction" throughout my life, especially in term of learning processes.