It had been quite some time that I had not updated my blog. I had been posted at Psychiatry wards for almost half of posting duration.
Initial impression was unpleasant, where I kept believe in what patients say causing me to be in sort of confusion or fear, which most of the time I heard about seeing or hearing unusual voices or figures.
However later on I began to adapt to these situations where I instead listen to patient, but do not allow those words to attach as it is, I tried to figure out what the hidden agenda behind patients' words. The change in approach allows me to overcome previous experience of unnecessary confusion or fear.
By seeing so many psychiatric patients, where they wonder around and seem like so free, sometimes I did admire them in that sense, however reality check told me these sort of so called 'leisure" come with price - lost of "real freedom".
All the while being inflicted with negative happening more than positive kind, I came across my mind of giving up.
However by seeing some so called "insane" patients (no offense), I had came to a thought that I should be grateful for being sane and granted with real freedom: able to travel independently, not institutionized, can go shopping malls, etc.
Especially when I encounter a very "special" patient who really talkative, with lots of ideas, being self proud, excessive "euphoric" state, he himself had gave me inspiration that I have to move on, my life has not come to the end yet. In fact the inspiration I earned from him is as same as quoted by one great psychiatrist: "life is full of mess, just deal with it and move on".
I won't know what will happen in the future, so just see how it goes, and my life goes on.
