Life never go smooth

It had been a long time i didn't update my blogs.

Seriously the 1st half of this yr i was busy, initially with faculty chinese new year celebration as well as diabolo practice, while also facing numerous tedious exams in the latter half of 1st yr.

And now I m in 2nd yr now, being grateful for successfully passed my end of year 1 exam, even though my performance is not satisfying.

Similarly during the time from end of year exam preparation I face numerous dilemmas and kept bothering me. Seriously I regained my passion back during block 5 exam as well as someone's word that stimulates me. "We from Siew Bee gang must at least has a representative for it .....Quoted from someone among Siew Bee gang, May 2010"

Therefore I strive my best to fight for it,and the efforts were kept being added all the while.

And then a day before I went back to my hometown for end of year holiday, I was stunted with a shocking new.s....

Alright then I went back home and never forget to continue my efforts. Along the way I realised that the contents are not easy to understand (as I had yet to learn those which supposed to be covered in year 2) but I never give up on it.

On 7th of June new block in yr 2 starts, and the news (or consider rumour that time) was confirmed to be true. My dream gone.......seriously I was quite disappointed.

We live in a country with democracy but seriously do we really apply the principle in all matters?

Think urself, stones were just picked without being filtered or screened. who knows that there are other normal stones that just needed to be brushed up to turn into gems (or said as hidden talent).........but the collector doesn't care about it....just trust on his naked eyes.

And this made me myself felt down and upset.I realised that I never shine during my yr 1 but seriously I tried my best to push myself harder.

Actually the matter is the policy of selection.....

I will not regret if I was being thrown away as "ugly" stone if I do not turn into gem after being screened, but the thing is I was not even given a single chances.............thats turn myself down for long time, It reminded me of scenario of our well-known apex university that also reject my application without allowing me into interview, which causing a "trauma" to my life (something like u were sentenced to death without given a single chance to defend on court)

I wish the previous collector will be the one having the authority for selection, which I believe she will be fair enough to everyone of us, unlike the current collector.....unfortunately she had left my faculty, which I can foresee a heavy loss for future generation, including my batch as well.

Therefore I tried myself to put best effort ever during block 6 in yr 2 and just finished the exam, seriously again my performance never achieved my expectation. But things happen cannot be undone.........

But I will keep strong and will not fall down just because of this matter, even though I always recalled it and the pain was felt inside my heart......

I shall arise and work towards brushing myself as a shining stone one day and I believe I can. Since there is no more chance for my dream, I will just continue my studies.To be successfully pass all my exams and graduate in 5 yrs is my current aim now.

Even though I face the great challenge in yr 2 which is lacking of teaching staffs in one of the vital disciplines, I will consider this as my new challenge. Human grows by facing challenges and I believe I will gain more after I had gone through it successfully.

No one can predict what happen next but at least I can do something myself to ensure there is always a better tomorrow for me.

I will continue to practice my usual principle that is "Sharing is caring". I enjoy adopting to the principle. Indeed I felt happy to share with people, of course you can never expect some others in return, because most of the times I always ended up with disappointment..............

Probably thats how my medical life goes on......... which never come to my expectation.

But I m no longer the same as when I was in yr 1........and I believe I can make a difference to my future medical life.....................

With regards, Magnum

Chinese New Year 2010

I find chinese new year 2010 was quite interesting compared to previous years

I had been returned to my hometown Kota Bharu......BRI (Kelantanese will know wat is it mean)

and met with a few of my old classmates and friends.

I ate Thai style tomyam fish in Wakaf Bharu , around 30 minutes car distance from Kota Bharu and really spicy , sour and exotic. Wow. Irresistable

Of course I met with some of my old friends , but most of them had been pursuing their studies abroad. So meaning to say not all old friends that I could met.

Its alright , I glad I did enjoyed Nasi Kerabu (or Kelantanese call Khaw Jam or "Cow Jump") which always lure me because it really taste nice.

For those non Kelantanese , u all must really try it out , but maybe the taste of budu may not sound nice to u. Anyway better give a try.

Later I was back to Alor Star for my relatives' visit and quite enjoyed my day.

Just felt sad that my holiday was around 1 week and time flies away very faster.

Soon and later I had to come back to Kuching and begin my journey again.

After SPM 4 : Choosing other option

So now I am so sure that I did not get PSD offer , my dream to Australia had broken.

Meanwhile I still do not give up , because I always believe there is hope behind every event.

And I also believe that my religion belief aids me in making decision , and every decision I made should be appropriate. Well I really agree with it.

Honestly speaking , due to financial problem , surely I would prefer those study options with minimal costs or surely wished to be sponsored.haha.

So my 3 options are :

1.PSD foreign university scholarship which being everyone's favourite.

2.It would be local MOE matriculation which narrow down ur duration of study

3.Lastly would be STPM , which most SPM leavers do not favor it.

While my 1st option had been failed , then the remaining will be 2nd and 3rd only............

Of course I did applied local MOE matriculation during end of my Form 5 time , since it is the pre-requisite to obtain a seat.

But once again.....................

When I checked my matriculation application result via Internet , the monitor displayed:

"Dukacitanya dimaklumkan bahawa permohonan anda tidak berjaya"

Oh my gosh...........................

Alright, initially I felt so sad , but I was forgotten to mention that I mixed with some STPM leavers very frequently during my holiday when I worked at supermarket as cashier. So undeniably they had instilled me with benefits of STPM.

I was so fascinated after being nurtured by them , thinking that: STPM is so challenging man.Sounds great. Perhaps I should give a try........

May 2007, I claimed my Form 6 offer letter at my old school as all eligible SPM leavers will automatically get the seat for Form 6.

And at the same time , my friend whose got almost same result as I do persuaded me to appeal for matriculation , telling me that STPM will waste ur time , since it takes 2 years for completion and there is no guarantee for scoring 4 Flat. Yes, as far as I know , most people thought that it is difficult to get CGPA 4.00 for STPM compared to local matriculation.

But I never forget about the newspapers that I read on 15 March 2007 , the day when STPM 2006 results released. And I saw the success of my previous school senior , which scored 4.00 in STPM , Wow , so great he was. At that moment I had imagined myself getting the same result 2 years after. Surely the feeling is so excited.

And therefore I gave up chance to appeal for local matriculation , instead choosing STPM as my next pathway.

Realising that STPM is not easy , I prepared myself early even before school registration starts.

AND my journey in STPM begins...................

After SPM 3: PSD interview

During the day of interview , I went to the place of interview at INTAN Sungai Petani,Kedah , which took around a hour to reach from my house. I entered the interview room with full confidence. However the full confidence seems to be useless. The interview was assessed via psychology test and face to face interview.

Well psychology test seems to be fair to all those candidates , but not for interview. The interview was in form of 6 person per group discussing a given current issue using both Malay and English language. Oh my god, I was so unlucky of being grouped with 5 other English fluent students , looks like it is not a good day for me.

I still remember my topic: Children nowadays like to play computer games. They cannot perform well in their studies. What do u think? Whether u support or oppose?

I did another mistake, I prepared my point in English first , but suddenly the interviewers requested for discussion in Malay. But I had no much problem for it.

The Malay language discussion ended well , all of us were equally competitive but the difference come when English language was used.

Most of time during the English discussion I support the statements , but it looks like all other 5 candidates did played computer games and they chose to oppose my points. Furthermore all of their English commands were great and far better than me. I was just like being "attacked" and "bombarded" by them. And my pronounciation was not well and lack of fluency , giving me further disadvantage of counter-attack or defending myself.

Then I ended up with knowing that it was extremely little chance form me to be offered.

And that is because I did not improve my speaking skills well.

I regret for it.

And a months later , as what I had predicted , I was rejected by PSD. My dream to Australia had gone.

But I had to proceed to my further studies. However there were still options : local MOE matriculation and STPM a.k.a Malaysia High School Certificate.

Now I need to choose between one of them , because both options were cheaper and affordable.

What would be my option...........May 2007.................

After SPM 2 : Visit to hospital

And my SPM result did made me eligible to apply for PSD scholarship. Therefore I chose to apply for it. Dare to change , never afraid and escape. And u know what? I applied Medicine course! Which is the most competitive course ever and always being favourites of SPM top scorers.

But I realised that I was not really stand a chance , because I just achieved A2 for my Biology which is crucial aspect of selection for medicine course , but I never regret choosing it instead of choosing those courses that I was confident of.

Why should u choose the course that u can be offered but not being ur favourite? Just because of getting foreign degree? Sorry if my words had insulted some of the readers , I was so sorry , no offence just to voice out my opinion. But on the other hand think positively maybe u will find interest during u pursue the new course offered. Yes , there is always a hope even though u may not like the offer.

Yes I was given a chance for my application. PSD accepted my attempt. And for Medicine course , all those applicants had to undergo a programme called exposure to the career of doctor. It was in the form of hospital visit for 3 days.

Whew , I glad I was given a chance , I just prepared myself for the hospital visit , I still remember that the hospital supervisor which I guessed he was also a specialist welcomed us with warmth feeling , smiling and good eye contact. Then he organized a seminar to reveal to us the real life of a medical doctor , telling us that the reality of a doctor does not seem to be easy as we always seen in TV drama series. The real doctors had to work overtime due to shortage of medical personnels. Oh man , I can't imagine that , and he also told us that one should not think of making money through medical career , only being a specialist then u may earn quite a huge amount of salary monthly , but it was not easy to be a specialist as well. The seminar ended and he adviced us to think and consider well before we proceed.

With this seminar , he called it a day and we went back home. I sat down and think whether I should proceed or not. If I chose to proceed , then I had to be well prepared to face a harsh life as medical student as well as medical doctor after my graduation. But then I realise that it was challenge and I believe I can make it through. So I decided to proceed.

Yo, I made through the 3 days hospital visit and I gave a good impression to all those medical doctors,medical assistants as well as nurses. Whoo.........So great feeling.

Next I was happy of getting chance for final interview,and I thought that my interviewing skills were adequate to convince the PSD officers.

But thought remain a thought.