Destiny and self esteem

“The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.” - William James

What’s holding you back? Even those who fully embrace the theory of positive thinking may feel some qualms over entrusting their lives to mere thought. There are many possibilities that could be producing weeds in your mental garden, and the best way to get rid of a weed is to yank it out, roots and all. 

Perhaps all is about destiny, as humans can only plan, but God is the one to decide. Brain has 2 hemispheres, implying things come in both sides, positive and negative aspects, also implies other issues. Till now I think only one of my hemispheres was used, awaiting second brain to fulfill and enrich my another seldom used brain hemisphere, to make myself more complete.

For most of human existence, self-esteem was an unheard-of notion akin to the theories of those heretics who believed the world was round. The term “self-esteem” - defined by Webster’s Dictionary as “pride in oneself; self-respect” - made its way into the common public awareness during the ‘60s and ‘70s as a catch-all term to describe the essence of parenting problems. The “old ways” of parenting were pronounced barbaric and damaging to the budding self-esteem of our youth, and many parents fearful of raising unhappy, ill-adjusted children took advice that led to a generation of children with high self-esteem...so high it eclipsed personal responsibility and created a “me-first” mentality.

On the other hand, most of us are taught that thinking highly of ourselves is a vain, selfish and undesirable trait. Advice telling us to feel better about ourselves and occasionally put us first seems counterintuitive at best. After all, isn’t self-love the first step on the road to Ego Central? Many people want to feel good about

themselves, but guilt too often rears its ugly head and stops healthy self-esteem from developing.

Because of these conflicting viewpoints, self-esteem is a tricky little emotion to manipulate. It’s important to strike a balance between modesty and greed. It takes practice to convince yourself that you are a worthwhile and deserving person, while at the same time keeping in mind that you’re not the center of the universe. Though it may sound impossible, it’s actually simple to accomplish.

Destiny does plays some roles, but human efforts indeed important. Just try to put all your efforts and leave the rest to the God.

Hardship is temporary indulgent of self

“In every phenomenon the beginning remains always the most notable moment.”- Thomas Carlyle

To tune in to the power of positive thinking, you should probably start small particularly if you don’t believe it will work. It’s one thing to tell yourself, “Tomorrow, when I wake up in the morning I won’t hit snooze a dozen times and feel drowsy for the rest of the day,” and quite another to tell yourself, “Tomorrow, when I wake up in the morning I’ll be living independently wealthy and living in a mansion.” (Unless, of course, you are in fact independently wealthy and living in a mansion at the moment; in which case you might try to think your way into ownership of a small country.)

The process of making positive thinking work for you begins with destruction, or at least a mild shift in your thought structure. In order to make room for new methods and ideas, you must first tear out all the old negativity patterns you’ve been building throughout your life. For some, this can be a gradual process: as you witness positive thinking work for you, one small step at a time, you will slowly clear out those good-things-only-happen-to-other-people thoughts, and be able to cultivate the seeds of change.

Sometimes, I realized that some worries inside myself may be unnecessary, and compulsive thinking is not always be useful in all aspects, perhaps in certain aspects are good to be simple, using first instinct with proper justification, correct timing etc.

Hardships occur daily, sometimes those really made people get upset easily, support via friends, close friends, partner, motivations etc indeed are necessary to keep one strong to withstand. 

I had been always cheer myself up no matter how "sourly" I had tasted. Probably these events are my challenges to mold my better self, I just can tell myself, do my best and leave the rest to happen as it flows.

“The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.” - William James

New Year 2012 New Dedication

My dedication for this new year 2012 is to instilled positive thinking into my life, not only for problem solving, but also for sake of attitude and perception of life. Most of the following words are quoted from book called "Power of Positive Thinking"

Some people said that positive Thinking is a Bunch of Crap, however Crap does makes Great Fertilizer.

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” Herm Albright

At some point in your life, you’ve probably heard about the power of positive thinking. Basically, this is a theory that contends if you believe good things will happen to you, there will be some sort of cataclysmic shift in the energies surrounding you which will actually cause good things to happen to you. For as many people who believe in the power of positive thinking, there are many more who believe it’s all a bunch of New Age pop psychology drivel or sugar-coated Peter Pan platitudes.

Here’s the kicker: they’re all right.

You see, positive thinking is a system of beliefs. So if you believe it doesn’t work then, of course, it won’t work. And if you believe it does work...well, you get the idea. For non-believers, using positive thinking is like trying to get a job after high school. You need experience to get a job, but you need a job to get the experience. It can be difficult to know where you’re supposed to start. But just like any other process, the key to making positive thinking work for you is to start small. Plant seeds, if you will, and then learn how to tend and cultivate those seeds until you have a mental garden that bears a phenomenal crop, year after year. Anything is possible with positive thinking...even if you do believe it’s all a bunch of crap.

Norman Vincent Peale, the father of positive thinking, once said: “If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm. Life does give back in kind.” This is the essence of positive thinking. It’s not so much a theory as it is a contagious disease. Just as anger and negativity spread quickly from person to person, so do humor and happiness- only good feelings spread far faster. Think about it: have you ever noticed that the quickest way to ease a tense situation is to make a joke? The instant someone laughs or smiles, a sense of relief spreads through everyone in the vicinity. Even if the angered parties don’t feel better, they are at least able to discuss the problem in a detached and objective way, and get on with their lives instead of dwelling on negativity. For that same reason, solo drivers who get cut off in traffic tend to remain angry for at least the rest of the drive- because there is no one else near them to send out good vibrations and break the tension. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

If you’ve picked up these ideas and read this far, the seeds of belief are already there. Your next step is to clear your mind’s garden of doubt and get ready to plant. You’ll learn how to take all that negativity and mulch it down into fertilizer that will let your possibilities grow.

Now grab your shovel, and let’s head in to the garden.

Upon reflection throughout the year, I had realized that my mistakes in year 2011 are compulsive thinking, indecisive, and urge to push in most matters.

Compulsive thinking and indecisive made me think twice while choosing an option or making some important decisions, in fact now I knew those bad habits were wrong and now I will decide based on my instinct.

"Urge to push" should not be continued, instead I should change my approach to let everything goes natural as according to Lao Tze's Taoism philosophy, so that I won't worry for no reason like I do in my past 1 year.

The biggest tree in the world grows from a seed you can hold between two fingers.

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t...you’re right.” - Henry Ford

Rainbow comes after rain

Switching Terminals: Hook Up to Positive Energy

“No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.” - Helen Keller

Enthusiasm is the sunshine of your mind’s garden. Possessing enthusiasm for all that you do is essential to the process of positive thinking. Just as plants require sunlight to develop and grow, utilizing the power of positive thinking requires enthusiasm to energize your potential and ensure an endless supply of fuel.

You will discover that the more enthusiasm you generate, the more energy you’ll have to put in. There are some things it will be easy to generate enthusiasm over, and others where you’ll have to stretch yourself to find what will spark your enjoyment.

For example, no one has trouble generating enthusiasm for spending an unexpected bonus from work or taking a night out. However, you may find it hard to get excited about washing dishes or filling out your income tax forms. But part of the magic of positive thinking is developing the ability to find the good things in any situation and use them to get through the difficult parts.

Like developing a positive mindset, enthusiasm must be cultivated and sheltered from potentially damaging emotional storms. There are several methods you can use to put a dose of passion into everything you do, whether it’s finally taking that dream vacation or scrubbing out the basement. You can choose the method that best fits whatever situation you’re facing and ensure yourself the energy to tackle anything life happens to throw at you.

I understand that passion is the key to boost one's confidence, it works on me most of the times. I will try my best to be more positively minded, perhaps at present not suffice. Negative thoughts will make me suffer, and my life does not worth to be as such.........

What’s In It for Me?

One of the most elemental solutions for finding enthusiasm is to focus on the benefit you will derive from completing a particular task. In some situations it’s easy to discover the benefit. For instance, you may hate wrapping presents, but you know the person you’re giving the present to will be overjoyed when presented with this lovely paper-wrapped gift, and so you derive happiness from envisioning the recipient opening the present. This is an especially useful tactic when you’re still up at 2 a.m. on Christmas morning trying to figure out how to wrap the bicycle you’ve just spent three hours putting together.

Other circumstances will not have such obvious benefits. If you were to find yourself trying to change a flat tire on the side of the road in the middle of a snowstorm (or a rainstorm, if you are fortunate enough to live in a snow-free climate) it would undoubtedly be difficult to find your silver lining. Under stressful circumstances,

give yourself permission to think of the wildest benefit you can come up with.

Perhaps you were on your way to a party you would rather not have gone to. In that case, your flat tire would give you the perfect excuse to turn around and go back home.

There is some good in every situation, whether it’s in the form of a benefit or a lesson to be learned (Lesson One: Never drive with questionable tires through a snowstorm to a party you didn’t want to attend in the first place). You can harness the power of positive thinking by finding that good and exploiting it, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.

Yes now I am awakened, and I understand that my current situation may not be favorable for me, however rainbow comes after rain, just like I mentioned in my previous blog about my friend's situation. And I myself witnessed the beautiful rainbow just in the evening. It tries to tell me that I will find a path of light after seeing and travelling through difficulties, darkness and unhappiness. I can't predict how long it takes, but I will try to make myself strong to be able to witness it. As my purpose of life: to seek for a path.......

Quoted and Adapted from "Power of Positive Thinking"

Stillness Speaks

Recently one of my friends had told me about his unhappiness encountered which had kept inside his heart long ago. It is better to keep his identity anonymous. I can roughly understand how he feels.

He always asked me, what are the differences between island and land? This question kept amusing me, and only he told me that island is stand by its own and land is made up of many states, just like Penang as island, while other states in Penisular Malaysia as land. The only connection is via Penang bridge. Using this analogy, he attempts to describe himself as island, or other means being "isolated", I told him it is sometimes cannot be avoided.

He is always being positively minded that every thing in the world is wonderful, world is full of kindness, he was so naive in believing in others. He always believes in hope is all around. I can't really let him down by disagree with his statement, I always tell him "All is well" and "whatever kindness you gave will be repaid in future". I recalled that one of my close friends in Form 6, he ever told me that "for every event that happened to us there must be hidden agenda behind, it can be good or bad , depends on how you think". Thus I share this words of wisdom to my poor friend whose was often feel upset about his life. I may not be a good counselor, but I can be a good listener. I always listen to his problems and giving some encouragement to lighten him up.

I may be able to become his listener of problems, but I myself encountered some problems as I go through my life, and it is hard to find a listener to my problems. However comparatively his problems were more severe than I do.

He always asked himself, "Do I exist? Am I a shadow? Am I a blind or deaf? Do others have hearts to beat on?" I realized that he was so disappointed that people do not regard his existence, tend to "isolate" him, as he was infected with contagious disease, even if he has it, it was his "kindness" that others fear about it. Or perhaps people thought that he was blind or deaf that he cannot see or hear what other says or do to him. I can't really help much about this while just keep on calming him down, to comfort him. I tell him everything will be fine soon, as rainbow comes after raining. I advised him to meditate and reflect on himself, cheering himself on his passion, kindness, and other abilities that others may not have. I believe that everyone is born with own uniqueness, so does he.

Lastly, I feel that world may be unfair to certain people, but being strong to make it through is essential. Just like how I often tell myself, "No matter how harsh the odds against me, I will remain strong, because I believe in hope will arise one day"